She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize