no. you can't hotbox the world.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
