your parents love me but you hate me
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
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