im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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