I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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