I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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