I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
