You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
