you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
