You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize