I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize