Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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