marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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