Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
