why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
