i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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