College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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