My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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