so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
