i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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