Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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