Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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