You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
