I'd wear matching sweaters with you
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
