Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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