super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize