I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
