We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
