people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
