So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
