We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
