the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
