I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am available for nakedness
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