I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
