No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
