Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Never underestimate the power of titties
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
