there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
