please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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