i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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