Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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