i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
