I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
