We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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