How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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