I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the day after is always just damage control
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
