Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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