Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
