I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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