What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you would pick up someone in the library
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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