walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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