There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
