I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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