So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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