So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
