I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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