brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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