is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
