dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well you can't waste a boner
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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