Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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