I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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