On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
