Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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