im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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